3 months

Yeah, that's seriously the best that I have in terms of creativity. That title sucks, pardon it please?


But anyways at the time of my writing this we stand 3 months from my favorite day. I'm not sure if I've expressed this, but as I grow a bit more refined in my taste and what not. I am slowly gravitating more towards savoring the anticipation of the day itself.

What does this mean? Well, it's pretty much as it sounds... I'm looking forward to looking forward to the greatest day of the year. Not only is is my favorite but it is the gateway to my my other two favorite holidays: X-mas and Saint Patrick's day.

I love living in the anticipation of it, rather than the day itself being at hand. If anything I often times feel myself to be slightly depressed the day of Halloween itself, because I know I'll have to wait AGAIN!

Why do I even like the day so much? I can't really explain it without a comparison. To me it's much like a comfort food, a security blanket, and mental vacation all in one. Knowing what those things are and their purposes should help to better define what it is to me. Also, most everyone has that one defining thing about them that they are known for. I'd like to think that I have adopted a holiday as my 'persona'.

As I've aged... I've started accepting my quirks. That's not to say that I'm still not sensitive. I am, that's just one facet of myself  that makes me, me. But rather than necessarily feeling paranoid about reacting or responding to something in a way that reflects my personality I am more proud to let people know about my interest.

This time around I feel like I understand that I am "different" and the likelihood of that ever changing is very insignificant. I accept that just as I can't understand why people would vote for the current president, or support guns, or try to overbear and control the lives of others... that those people most likely can't understand why I love a childish holiday to the extent that I do, why I love music that isn't kind to the general public's ears, and why I don't abide by other imperative norms.

But I have to be myself and stay true to it as much as possible no matter the dislike that it may or may not foster. I know that for the most part I am a very niche character (I might even type-cast myself a bit) and that I will have more frequent disagreements than most.

The pay off to this is: less self resentment, and allowing those who will appreciate me to find me. Most every star (especially of the more bizarre variety) just did as they needed and felt.

I once heard that as a person, most people's personalities have solidified by the end of their twenties, and I would agree with this on a personal level.



ONE A LESS DEEP NOTE!

I finished up the summer semester as of 2 weeks ago. I survived both with scary results... AA!
Haha, fooled ya. I got an A in the both of the couple of courses I took. In one, a solid A, and the other an A-. I was stunned by that last one, I swore that I would have gotten a B at best. but yeah! pulled it off!

Just last week I met with my new counselor... honestly I think that what I will have to (and should do) is switch counselors every 3 years, unless results are markedly presented.

Okay, 30 minute timer is up, that's all for right now. I'll attempt this more frequently, but now I'll just say: No promises.

Take it easy!

Look ma!

All in all today's been quite great.

•Forgot something for class it turns out I ended up not needing today.

•Got out of class 32 minutes early, because for whatever reason I was energized.

•Got a haircut.

•Got a deal on my styling gel. What's usually 20 ish for one at meijer, I got 2 for the same price.

•Got my nudist magazine from the UK. Which honestly, I was expecting that at least 3 weeks from now. I ordered it on Saint Patricks day. I have stuff coming from the United States that aren't that expedient.

• Finally, all I have to study today is math, for I have a test tomorrow. I understand it, I just want to help thicken the pot so to speak. I have a 98% last time I checked, and I wish very much to keep in the 90s.

Hopefully all goes well tomorrow.  Not just with the test but with the weather. I am having a Brazilian wax done. These things aren't cheap, especially if you're a first timer.

Kinda goes without saying that I don't entertain the thought of taking a Lyft there. The hope is that weather permitting, I can ride my bike. I'd count that 70 minute round trip  ride as my exercise for the day! Combined with the evasion of Lyft cost, and being crammed into a slimy germ wagon, getting exercise, and enjoying the day... just can't be beat.

Have a good one. Open some windows!!

Textual healing

Guess we're starting this post over hehe.

So I'll start off with where I left off, the earlier pieces being insignificant.

This year has offered much in the way of growth and thus for me, enlightenment (not of the religious sort). I'd like to share my morning.

I initially woke up irritated and feeling like a fat sack of shit. Fair enough. But I kept on with my routine. That is, until I remembered... I forgot to charge both my phone and my Ipod last night. 

Now, this may seem like a minute detail but for me it's a bit trickier than that. I've always been hard on myself, and to some degree no matter how small, probably always will.

The plugs where I work out (the sunroom of the house we keep closed off) were both occupied... I had to break routine. Which, for me is not so great to say the least. So, I calmly sat down in from of the electric fireplace/space heater and "meditated". I say "meditated" Because I've never quite understood the concept in full.

Anyways, I sat there in concentration legs folded back straight before the heater and the candle atop of it. I asked myself some questions. For the most part, I simply answered them. That! Is a triumph of its own! To answer without the paralysis over over-thinking.

<When will we (yes, when I think, I kind of divide myself) work out?

>Noon, or be done by 3.

<Well then, what's next?

>Breakfast... but I hate picking what to eat.

<Think harder. Take your time.

After that I made a good breakfast and have a good concept of how the day will go.

*shrugs* Positivity.