I find it more appropriate to put my words to text today, as they are not too nice? I'm not sure how to explain it.
This morning is a little hard to start. I just want to be understood... and understood by the second person that matters. Let me explain.
I am a person (hypocritical myself but at least I acknowledge the fact), that loves to be certain of making plans. ESPECIALLY in regards to Halloween, or Halloween related events. I especially dwell if the plans are suggested by another person. It's a scathing pet peeve of mine. Again, I like things to be discussed and planned. I don't like last minute decisions... never have, and never will. Such as the case with something very recent (this upcoming weekend). Sure, things come up... but do try and be ahead of the game in letting the other party know. Or in general if it looks like it's not going to happen. Let me know within a week at the latest. Because otherwise my interest dies out like the carbon in seltzer. My enthusiasm dries.
I wouldn't be so bothered if it weren't for the suggestion of the person... me trying to prepare, and the person who made the suggestion being non-responsive. That's different than things coming up which can understand (not like, but understand) That's the difference.
I try to convey this to my boyfriend. Maybe it's because it's his little sister I am talking about or maybe because he truly does not understand what the big deal is. It's not like I can casually talk with him about it. He tends to get a bit more frustrated than need be. I feel like most other people would get how I'm talking. I have a habit of apologizing for things I say to others in advance, due to thinking it will frustrate them like it does him.
I won't be apologizing for any of this to anybody. This is how I feel and it's grown dark and upset, because of lack of communication... between the person who made the suggestion and I. That's what irks me... not the fact that it's not going to happen as planned... by me.
Well, that's my rant for now gotta study I guess... I'm really going to try and treat today like the joke it is... Hysterical and meaningless.
#cynicism
