bang bang bang bang!
A lot has happened and not happened lol. I spelled that wrong twice in a row... But yeah. I've been doing more stuff than usual and it's become quite a journey. Allowing myself to open more... to feel more. It's really fascinating what I'm learning that I have lost for quite awhile. The acting class is extracting some interesting qualities from my pretty secretive life... But I love it... the things hardest to do usually have a great pay off. It starts off as fear.. and then anxiety, followed by pain... and then clarity.
So much clarity in fact... not a ton... but not all is clear all the time. I stood before my class in my self- management class, and she raved about my poetry... It's the thing that's made the most sense to me for the biggest portion of my life... but I always pushed it away as a pipe dream... and a waste of time... I spent so much time trying to integrate and masquerade as many other things... (a director, a clubber, a psychologist, and most recently.... a musician. This uh bipolar disorder... not to blame it all in this... hinders the stability of self image... it's a known system... But when I catch things that make sense and click they are cherished grand discoveries that I don't take lightly, but celebrate. While, I am not the best with punctuation and other facets of writing that I will have to work on. I have a smooth sense of wording... Yes the thing that has always felt right... didn't feel fake about myself was my writing. I mean, I love pens and empty notebooks... there's just soo much possibility and I just want to smother their pages with ink. Many revelations.. chances and thoughts .
But, that explains that.. concise and to the point I feel. I'm a writer and that's that.
What's been happening and is going to happen? I've started meeting some really cool people. Today might consist of the following: South Lyon Pumpkinfest, pants shopping, and seeing mom. Tomorrow, is a lunar eclipse :), Full BLOOD MOON the last one has not happened in 33 years!, then Monday Will be packed with the secretary of state, the social security office for a new social security card, and counseling, rewarded by the witches night out with ace people. Tuesday get your fix... it's national coffee day.
Thursday is going to be my second acting thing, but the rough draft of it. My character is uptight and fed up... perfect! The couple people that saw us practicing liked it.
The weekend I will go to my second poetry event and this time I will read more confidently. I have to start attending more of these things and make my name a little more known. And placing myself in more situations for networking purposes. Shouldn't be extremely taxing considering Ann Arbor is fairly literate.
The weekend after that there is a tentative Halloween Gathering.
And then the weekend after that is Halloweekends! One of the major staples as it is for my birthday.
