Omitted results...

Everyone's guilty of this at some point... Withholding important thoughts... Thinking that another person should just "get" something... That's far too much expect from someone... Not all minds are alike... Similar but not exact. If you can't interpret and express feelings and emotions correctly... And at the right times... That's on you. Mind readers are real, for better or otherwise.

I say where I'm at what I need, and look for the right ways to say and ask things... I don't always get it right, that's impossible for any. But when the same idea is proposed time and again... And agreed upon repeatedly... One has every right to be frustrated just as much.

I struggle right now to make a neutral attempt at this... I'm saddened... I'm scared... I'm admittedly always worried deep down... I feel it on my surface right now... I ... Am not a villain... I am just different... Funny on the last day of counseling... I feel a great sorrow... I never know where I'll be  from one day to the next... Always felt a sense of drifting (again always in the back of my mind).

I refuse to be beaten by this state right now.... To panic in quicksand ensures defeat... I'll handle it tomorrow. ... At this moment... I'm not certain wrapping up my help was good... Have to keep moving... A pack or a rogue... .

I know this feeling... Though not as bad as in youth... Its that feeling of shame... Maybe I should be by myself... Yes it'd be a harder road... But ... But.... *sigh*

This feeling, a thick mixture of dark memory, confusion, fear. The winter was never good to me.

I appreciate my chance to free will... I really do... Don't think otherwise.. The fact I have the internet... A haven from the cold... I think about this so much.... To be honest... Its astounding that I am still standing.... I can't let ANYONE tear me down... Work with, sure .

Perhaps I have omitted words too... Is this when I look up into space. Search for my meaning? I was never treated poorly...

But the truth is stunning and I've been pierced. I don't like it... But it is its own. A dose of reality... Needed. Scary... . hungry... Tired...lonely....feeling the emotion of sadness without the actions...

I could go on to site everything I feel... But realize that I am fairly soft right now... Nothing meant with ill intent.

I needed someone to talk to... So I have myself... And this wall I like to mark up. . .

Thx for talking me through this a bit Bry,. Hang in there man.