mystery doors

Scary or fun?

How about both. lately, I've been struggling... not necessarily depressed...
 Well, a little I suppose. but it's a weird manageable issue.

I kind of let myself slip into it. Like this: The fall was around... and to help " get myself excited" I ate crap food, candy etc. I did really good all year without out it... After that came the eye issue... not much to do but sleep eat and listen to music when your eye is in pain and ya can't see... and of course he cold weather/ lack of sun combo. I also fell off my medication for a week.

Last year I did really well, with my basic issues and SAD... it barely affected me at all! I'm banking on my medication being the primary repellent. But I've read up on several things. I'm going all the things I need to be doing to combat it. I'm sunlamping, working out, taking vitamins, antidepressants etc. What I'm not doing too much of though is eating right.

How we acquire our "winter coats" is because of an old survival instinct we have hard wired into us. I've read this and heard this severeal times now. Our bodies, crave starches and other comfort foods. Which gets many into an all too familiar groove... You'll feel bad about it... and do it again and sleep and do it all again and spike some heavy resentment. orrrrrrrrrrr this is common in SAD sufferers more so. I can't speak for all. But Yeah I've been having some DEEP stomach wrenching hungers that aren't even justifiable... and... as I have read... I have been craving the carbs... I'm not one to take all I'm given by the media... but when I do my own research and I see several connections and similarities in data... I store it.

Maybe my SAD has upped itself/? can't say. Feels like it may have.

So I'll follow the steps I have not tried yet, as far as getting a sun alarm. (that's the only real thing that I have not tried).

All I know, more so now than ever, is... I hope to leave to a snow free state in the next 5 years. I want nothing more to do with the extra ups and downs of mood do to weather... I already have my own troubles with that. It can only improve by moving.

But moving... especially out of state can be very scary. I'd want to with my Boyfriend of course... I mean every one, everything I know is here.

I've been reading up on people with SAD and their moving experiences... many found it highly beneficial when they had fled. I read about how one woman did the opposite and moved from California to Michigan.... she said she got slammed with a bad case of it. It's not the Holidays that bother me. I adore them... it's the mental/emotional pandora's box that opens when the fall comes...

I'm truly losing my thirst for fall because of this...

Again when the time comes... I know I'll cry and feel really displaced for a little bit... and that was just switching cities....but somehow... with my ample curiosity I think it'll be better. <B