Woooo, the day I've had....
It's been kind of clunky for lack of a better word...
What I mean by this: I guess it began with last night. I went to bed at 10:45 simple enough... but then I woke up at 5:30... because my bladder demanded it. Next, I went to an interview I had and I was the first one there as they were having multiple people come in.
I did it well enough, I had my selling points: I was there early, and I was myself with the managers, I asked many questions. Still no call back yet. but that's okay because although, I'm looking looking for work, and I need it and this would give me a fair amount of money... this would really... REALLY mess with my bipolar. How? Well, I'd already feel like I was keeping myself "a secret"... The manager essentially told me there would be an unofficial hazing, and the scheduling would be horrid... I need consistency, as I have said and will say many more times in my life... without it... I get lost and it's a little hard for me to turn around.
I was asked what I was doing currently and I told them going to school and looking for work, and when I mentioned what I had been going to school for they kind of... Snubbed it I feel like a "yeah that's nice". One of them even asked me what I hoped to do with that... I swear people with overtly business type minds... they suck they just don't really get much else too serious etc... Granted to get what I eventually want I'll have to bear some business power too... but a different kind, there is business from an artistic aspect... and a BUSINESS, business aspect.
So, that kind of got me a little down as it always does... Don't look down on me because I've chosen something that will ultimately make me happy. Anyways, I walked home took about 35 minutes, was a great walk in great weather .. probably the best part of my day no doubt. ... I found it a little hard to get back on track... in part due to the cloudy feeling in my head I sometimes get... I can never seem to put words to it... but my brain is fairly useless in this state... *Sigh* I could have gotten back on track easy hadn't it been for that. But, it happened nonetheless. I forced myself through one of the things I needed to get through working out. I quit after about 50 minutes... today's yoga practices were way too advanced me ... I had to improvise the best that I could...
So, I ultimately decided to take a nap, to try and counter act my brain from it's lack of thought... An hour and a half nap, because that's a sleep cycle and I figured that would be the best bet. So I did that and was in that weird state of asleep and awake at the same time... ick. But when I decided I was going to get up about an hour ago, I ate the remaining half of the jar of peanuts, and my waffle, pb2, greek yogurt, and marmalade sandwich. Yum... I opened the blinds.. And here I am.
Not a complete bust, I'm working through this day as best as I can. That's all you can ever do. But the thought that has been rolling around in my head, was what was it that made my day tumble around like this? Was it waking up so early? If so- that's not cool- I can't be having on link in my chain make the rest defective.... it makes sense to me though, because my body is used to a very specific routine... and it was thrown off of it since the very beginning of the day. Maybe it's allergies? I've had pressure in the front of my head since this morning. I doubt the likelihood of dehydration due to the fact that I have been a water fiend of late.... so I don't know..
All I know is that tomorrow I attack the gates of hot topic in hopes that they will accept me into their team... And call panera bread about their night baker position. But for now, I'm going to try and pick up and finish as much as I can.
Love, <B
No comments:
Post a Comment