Today has been productive, and I'm trying to squeeze the very last juice into doing the needs I need and want to do. That's why these blog things will probably happen only like 4th day I think. Just so that I can allow myself more time to do everything hopefully, and the only real reason I am (kind of set back is: I'll explain in a minute.
PAST: Went to the counselor yesterday that seemed kinda rushed to be honest. Oh well. I really like walking places, but it does eat up a lot of time. So maybe I won't? I don't know lol. We did decide that I need to try and figure out how to keep myself engaged in my projects. Rather than saying that I have a ton of projects that I have never finished.
CURRENT: Bring us to today, where I woke up.... way too early and could not get back to sleep. This morning (after my first coffee in 2 weeks) I was doing my exercises very smoothly. I wrote down a ton of lists for about a solid hour and a half. They included the things that are utmost importance to me. They are goals, and plans and pretty specific ones at that. Today was eaten up a little bit by the fact that I did two time consuming things. One, I walked to get my hair cut... 2 I still needed to arrange and add files to my comp and back up all of the files on my external hard drive. Which... I just remembered I have to do. As well as still delete a couple of things I do not really use anymore. But this was one my agenda for today, and it is fairly fast, and I'll be able to knock this and a couple others off fairly easy. So that's where this is coming from. As a side note I have to mention that it felt such like early fall today, the grey but not raining weather, the air just cool enough to wear a light jacket if you wanted to. Awesome. BTW FULL MOON TONIGHT!!!
FUTURE: Tomorrow I will finish what ever I happened to not reach. Which will be like half to a quarter of the things. I mean I have options. It's really a matter of what I want. I would like to devote way more time to these, about 3 hours for one and at least one hour for the other. Or I could try and level with myself and only do an hour of each. I have come up with better composed ideas on how to accomplish my projects. Their not 100% solid. But that's still better I feel. The three main projects are kind of lined up and rationed out in order of importance. So, the sound stuff I should be doing to some degree (I'd like to do at least 3 hours a day) every day, I'm going to try and work on the grim spectrum a bit more. That would be the book or story rather that I started writing last year... So, we'll see how that goes... I plan on doing something that might help to motivate, and or encourage me to progress with it. Like posting pages of it on instagram or places where I can get some constructive criticism. I mean I personally think that the story and the characters are very dynamic in their own ways. I essentially have the whole story in my mind and how it will end etc. But it's the dialogue, and pacing that is a bit taxing. BUT taxing is good it shows heart. I have to make sure that I can keep the train rolling, because as I will always state. bipolar makes it hard sometimes to just function on a basic level, let alone thinking and working consistently. But hey, there are so many people doing great things out there with physical impairments, and mental challenges that surpass my own. Does that make my burden any less? No. But what it does is it gives me hope that I can move past the clouds over head and ascend... not like in... a religious sense. That's another thing I have to make sure that I write out is, a list of accomplishments dating all the way back to as far as I can remember. This should help greatly. Also writing a list of things that I would tell someone else as well as things I am constantly telling myself for advice.And of course I'd look up quotes from my favorite artists. Because a lot of them had to overcome things to reach the levels they are at now. It takes awhile, and for some people, they have the right connections, or the market themselves flawlessly, or are just utterly gifted. I am none of the above but I am persistent. I just need to try and figure out how to speed up my recoil time (or bounce back time whatever you want to call it). Because if I truly care about something or someone I try and come back... I try things 3 times, if it doesn't work out in that point in time I might give it another three more chances after 3 or more years. In the past I have left huge gaps between things stopped and started... and doubted and over thought leaving room for doubt to seep in. Sometimes you have to just make a decision and stand by it until it doesn';t work, and then you try something else. I know many of my artists that I look up to have failed many a time before reaching their current status. Persistence is a good trait to have. I also read that if you don't take risks (especially on an unconventional path) you might just miss out and stay put... I need to keep remembering that when I decided to move out here... It was with a house of complete strangers about 17 miles away from home... I was terrified. But it turned out that I'd be fine and that years later I'd be far better off than if I would have stayed back with my parents. Off subject though. All I know is that music has been the most constant and consistent part of my life. It's always been there, expanding my library, my tastes, the things that I recognize and question about not only the music but how and why the artist has done certain things. I'm noticing now more than ever details that I have never really looked at... I was hearing the music and not listening with the same attention I now give it. I've nearly always been able to hear a singer and or a voice and be able to tell the vocalist, even if I've never heard the song before.
Okay, gotta get back to the other things but I guess that I needed this SUPER reflective entry.
oh... I didn't even mention camping... Really quick - Everything is in place, I have set up "the rules" for myself that will help me to feel better and be a lot happier . Such as what I eat and when I will go to bed and that the exercise of choice will be walking. It's better than nothing so I'll take it!
BIG NEWS POSITIVE VIBESSS! STAY TUNED FOR POSSIBLE AWESOME NEWS!
Showing posts with label electronics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label electronics. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Monday, December 22, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Dear DIEary
Love a horrible pun ^_^
Last weekend- with the kids- was... GREAT lol. The one that could talk kept on saying how much fun she was having. I died on sugar and was resurrected only by my will till learn electronic music score.
_ZomBry_
that's about it really... that and practicing- testing new things- researching- listening- looking for the advice and stories of those I look up to. I've gotten significantly better all ready... very little acquired from my current music class but... I tend to learn things at my own rate... I learn far better through hands on trial and errors more than anything. My eyes glaze over the more I have to listen and not do. I'm getting the habit of practicing every day- it's becoming as vital as my work outs for me. I get fairly antsy if I don't do it or feel I have not made much progress. .. but for the most part I get lost in it ! -My favorite part is more so sound design than music as I have no former experience composing. For never having played an instrument, for never knowing how to sight read etc. I read an article on a VERY prestigious composer by the name of Hans Zimmer. He admits to not knowing how to play instruments or how to read music for that matter... or at least in the beginning. yo pick up things... learn them by habit.
This week is your 25th Bry- but you're a zombie now so, alls you have to worry about is rotting really. I guess you might have to worry about eating the brains of your new friends boyfriend too.. no matter how much of a good idea it sounds like at the moment. Really though, I am not a fan of the aging process, majority aren't but I reserve my own special reasons. I feel that this is the first of many years that I am finally reaching for things that I want and need to get done... even when in apathy or melancholy I'm still crawling. But the fear is doesn't lie with the aging... that's inevitable. It's with the rush to catch up with myself and where I want to be for my age. I spent many years barricaded and stagnant. Now I'm just barricaded ;p. I often think about how I would feel about myself from a younger age. What I mean is How would I view me at age 8? A decade ago? Would they feel that I held true? Did I live up to what I believed to want. Ideas and concepts of self are always shifting.. always evolving with our bodies. Somehow though, I always know what and who I am to be.. When you're younger it's easier to let that be. When I knew various things about myself that I wanted ... still want. I knew I wanted nipple rings... check... I knew I wanted eye contacts- check. I knew I loved pale skin and petite bodies, tattoos, colored hair, and Halloween. To a degree my life has felt like one big day. that's why my long term memory is vast... many points in the past I can remember the most random of details, and how I felt during them. I've had feelings I always have ever since I can remember. Of course there are the many ailments that came with 24 for me.
But 25 is generally a good year I hear. I hear between the ages of 25 and 26 men are supposed to have fully developed brains. Which helps solidify most ideals, and concepts... or make them harder to shrug off, good and bad I guess. Organization is supposed to become better along with other executive functions. I have been feeling these things grow in myself. Adoration.
Last Paragraph.
this month escapes me... I love it... but it is fleeting. It doesn't feel like it normally does for me. Not in a bad sense.. not at all. Just a calm. I'm actually a little more entertained by Dia De Los Muertos - the Spanish variant of Halloween- celebrating the sweet shortness of life in vibrant color and togetherness just beautiful. this weekend is Halloweekends and a day with Mi Madre. Good stuff, and the next Maybe pumpkins with a friend. Then the art show. yup that's my Halloween. Oh and I might go to a nudist place again once more before fall is through. I will get myself a couple of gifts... because I know what I want... probably some more music software, and a random nick knack.
October <B
Last weekend- with the kids- was... GREAT lol. The one that could talk kept on saying how much fun she was having. I died on sugar and was resurrected only by my will till learn electronic music score.
_ZomBry_
that's about it really... that and practicing- testing new things- researching- listening- looking for the advice and stories of those I look up to. I've gotten significantly better all ready... very little acquired from my current music class but... I tend to learn things at my own rate... I learn far better through hands on trial and errors more than anything. My eyes glaze over the more I have to listen and not do. I'm getting the habit of practicing every day- it's becoming as vital as my work outs for me. I get fairly antsy if I don't do it or feel I have not made much progress. .. but for the most part I get lost in it ! -My favorite part is more so sound design than music as I have no former experience composing. For never having played an instrument, for never knowing how to sight read etc. I read an article on a VERY prestigious composer by the name of Hans Zimmer. He admits to not knowing how to play instruments or how to read music for that matter... or at least in the beginning. yo pick up things... learn them by habit.
This week is your 25th Bry- but you're a zombie now so, alls you have to worry about is rotting really. I guess you might have to worry about eating the brains of your new friends boyfriend too.. no matter how much of a good idea it sounds like at the moment. Really though, I am not a fan of the aging process, majority aren't but I reserve my own special reasons. I feel that this is the first of many years that I am finally reaching for things that I want and need to get done... even when in apathy or melancholy I'm still crawling. But the fear is doesn't lie with the aging... that's inevitable. It's with the rush to catch up with myself and where I want to be for my age. I spent many years barricaded and stagnant. Now I'm just barricaded ;p. I often think about how I would feel about myself from a younger age. What I mean is How would I view me at age 8? A decade ago? Would they feel that I held true? Did I live up to what I believed to want. Ideas and concepts of self are always shifting.. always evolving with our bodies. Somehow though, I always know what and who I am to be.. When you're younger it's easier to let that be. When I knew various things about myself that I wanted ... still want. I knew I wanted nipple rings... check... I knew I wanted eye contacts- check. I knew I loved pale skin and petite bodies, tattoos, colored hair, and Halloween. To a degree my life has felt like one big day. that's why my long term memory is vast... many points in the past I can remember the most random of details, and how I felt during them. I've had feelings I always have ever since I can remember. Of course there are the many ailments that came with 24 for me.
But 25 is generally a good year I hear. I hear between the ages of 25 and 26 men are supposed to have fully developed brains. Which helps solidify most ideals, and concepts... or make them harder to shrug off, good and bad I guess. Organization is supposed to become better along with other executive functions. I have been feeling these things grow in myself. Adoration.
Last Paragraph.
this month escapes me... I love it... but it is fleeting. It doesn't feel like it normally does for me. Not in a bad sense.. not at all. Just a calm. I'm actually a little more entertained by Dia De Los Muertos - the Spanish variant of Halloween- celebrating the sweet shortness of life in vibrant color and togetherness just beautiful. this weekend is Halloweekends and a day with Mi Madre. Good stuff, and the next Maybe pumpkins with a friend. Then the art show. yup that's my Halloween. Oh and I might go to a nudist place again once more before fall is through. I will get myself a couple of gifts... because I know what I want... probably some more music software, and a random nick knack.
October <B
Sunday, October 5, 2014
The Eyeronic story
Pain in my eye... the phrase never quite made sense to me till recent.
Im going to try and be chipper ... all Nick Fury and pirate jokes aside I've been doing well...Ish I went to the emergency room and back and forth between various eye docs all saying I have various things... None of which are concurrent with the others. One is iritis, one is keratitis, and the other is something like... hervetatitis? Idk... All know is I now have an arsenal of 3 types of eye drops and a gel. One of the eye drops helps the pain immensely and dilates my pupil make it nice and big... so I look like I'm insane!!! Love it. So yeah, trying to piece myslf together for the month.. This couldn't have happened in a worse month... I mean... It started... at the dawn of October.... REALLY?!? poop. Well I see the eye doc again tomorrow. Total.. I've been in a doctor setting about... 12 hours in the past week give or take an hour. Another curiosity: I've been finding joy in some really odd stuff.. my focus has oddly been improving.. Aside from the pain... It might be more bothersome to me that it is pulling my attention from things and holding me back from getting things done.... I I sometimes have to keep the eye closed..... Okay- that's enough for now... tomorrow phase 3 let's hope we can get this nipped <B
P.S. Love how fall just happened on the last hospital visit on friday. Torrent winds dispatching bright orange and reds underneath the grey sky... ^_^
Im going to try and be chipper ... all Nick Fury and pirate jokes aside I've been doing well...Ish I went to the emergency room and back and forth between various eye docs all saying I have various things... None of which are concurrent with the others. One is iritis, one is keratitis, and the other is something like... hervetatitis? Idk... All know is I now have an arsenal of 3 types of eye drops and a gel. One of the eye drops helps the pain immensely and dilates my pupil make it nice and big... so I look like I'm insane!!! Love it. So yeah, trying to piece myslf together for the month.. This couldn't have happened in a worse month... I mean... It started... at the dawn of October.... REALLY?!? poop. Well I see the eye doc again tomorrow. Total.. I've been in a doctor setting about... 12 hours in the past week give or take an hour. Another curiosity: I've been finding joy in some really odd stuff.. my focus has oddly been improving.. Aside from the pain... It might be more bothersome to me that it is pulling my attention from things and holding me back from getting things done.... I I sometimes have to keep the eye closed..... Okay- that's enough for now... tomorrow phase 3 let's hope we can get this nipped <B
P.S. Love how fall just happened on the last hospital visit on friday. Torrent winds dispatching bright orange and reds underneath the grey sky... ^_^
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Ozone Coffee
It's out of this world. puh... that is an over used space pun if I ever heard one!
Yesterday... OH I'm gonna punch that nagging negativity that keeps rising up ... punch it square in the balls and then pour salt in it's eyes. Yesterday was good enough in the first half but man... when I hit that outside world my attitude plummeted. I've been very intro-verty.. Avoiding eye contact... being the only one of a classroom, or group to not laugh... I think that I'm pulling into my little hermit shell because silly things. Intro-verty won't cut it with making new friends lol. I got over it by eating my feelings. But it wasn't all too bad. Besides I got creative with it... I wanted something sweet and all I had available to me was a packet of hot cocoa mix... Not wanting hot cocoa... I thought hmmm. I went for the all natural peanut butter and mixed it kind of making this weird peanut butter cup frosting. It was rather delicious.
Today, Is fair enough no complaints, Kind of cool and breezy, sunny day... A holiday weekend in my midst, and a lot of ideas, of things to do and see and the like. I want to go to guitar center for their big sale to maybe get a better functioning audio system. I want to go to this mysterious and shady little coffee shop I found a hint of when I went to pick up my fizz water. No, literally - there was a sign saying "Secret Coffee" with a little hand pointing in the direction of the back of building. ... It's an addition to this wine and bakery... so maybe it's worth checking out. And being one of the first customers has it's advantages you know... I love under ground things..I also want to go to this store right beside it Called Ozone Music. I've been intrigued by it for the 4 months we've lived here...but never got to it... Feeding off of the positive vibes of my new class I am super curious. Going to My boyfriend's sisters this weekend. OOOO and I have this awesome Idea! I found some top 100 Halloween movie lists online. I thought it would be fun that when my boyfriend and I are bored we could watch the movie in correspondence to how many days are left till the big H. (I know when I talk it makes perfect sense to me but not everyone so, I'll explain). Tonight there are 63 days till Halloween thus, we'd watch number 63 on the list. Screw all of the T.V. stations and their 31 days or even worse... 13 DAYS of Halloween... that's all fine and good. But don't they understand that September is but a prelude.
What's on the agenda? tinkering with my music, some writing, some taxing phone calls to caseworkers, optometrists, a little painting, and some cleaning. Later I get some Sprat paint.. because I'm impatient like that and While I could say... "Well, I painted all of this by hand... Sure it took some time but... It taught me what it means to be a man..." I'd rather save the life lesson speech for grandpas.
<B
Yesterday... OH I'm gonna punch that nagging negativity that keeps rising up ... punch it square in the balls and then pour salt in it's eyes. Yesterday was good enough in the first half but man... when I hit that outside world my attitude plummeted. I've been very intro-verty.. Avoiding eye contact... being the only one of a classroom, or group to not laugh... I think that I'm pulling into my little hermit shell because silly things. Intro-verty won't cut it with making new friends lol. I got over it by eating my feelings. But it wasn't all too bad. Besides I got creative with it... I wanted something sweet and all I had available to me was a packet of hot cocoa mix... Not wanting hot cocoa... I thought hmmm. I went for the all natural peanut butter and mixed it kind of making this weird peanut butter cup frosting. It was rather delicious.
Today, Is fair enough no complaints, Kind of cool and breezy, sunny day... A holiday weekend in my midst, and a lot of ideas, of things to do and see and the like. I want to go to guitar center for their big sale to maybe get a better functioning audio system. I want to go to this mysterious and shady little coffee shop I found a hint of when I went to pick up my fizz water. No, literally - there was a sign saying "Secret Coffee" with a little hand pointing in the direction of the back of building. ... It's an addition to this wine and bakery... so maybe it's worth checking out. And being one of the first customers has it's advantages you know... I love under ground things..I also want to go to this store right beside it Called Ozone Music. I've been intrigued by it for the 4 months we've lived here...but never got to it... Feeding off of the positive vibes of my new class I am super curious. Going to My boyfriend's sisters this weekend. OOOO and I have this awesome Idea! I found some top 100 Halloween movie lists online. I thought it would be fun that when my boyfriend and I are bored we could watch the movie in correspondence to how many days are left till the big H. (I know when I talk it makes perfect sense to me but not everyone so, I'll explain). Tonight there are 63 days till Halloween thus, we'd watch number 63 on the list. Screw all of the T.V. stations and their 31 days or even worse... 13 DAYS of Halloween... that's all fine and good. But don't they understand that September is but a prelude.
What's on the agenda? tinkering with my music, some writing, some taxing phone calls to caseworkers, optometrists, a little painting, and some cleaning. Later I get some Sprat paint.. because I'm impatient like that and While I could say... "Well, I painted all of this by hand... Sure it took some time but... It taught me what it means to be a man..." I'd rather save the life lesson speech for grandpas.
<B
Monday, August 11, 2014
Jokes and wires
Funnies:
^_^ I am glad to officially be on a computer right now. I've down gra- (whisper: I've down graded to my old computer momentarily) Yup dear old Eugrom the name of my first computer is up and running on the internet for the first time in about a year. It's functionality is surprisingly good!
What happened to the bride of Eurom you ask, well she got sick and she's being nursed back to health at the computer clinic. She's getting a nice detox there as well as her shots. So fingers crossed, she shouldn't have any hardships for about a year in the least.
It's interesting how tech is very much like an organism (I almost spelled orgasm... which is what tech helps create ....moving along). More specifically it's more like a pet. You have to make sure that it's up to date on everything, have antibodies, and not feed it too, too much. I'm really developing a love for the stuff. I mean we are living in a digital world and it's only going further. Some of my favorite possessions are my laptops my phone, my mp3 player. I use them everyday and like many, it's insanely awkward to not have theses things. But yeah, my baby will be back to normal soon :D
Nuff' tech talk. My teeth are recovering, My writing frequency has grown, and I'm finding new stuff out about my music stuff everyday. I'm really quite interested in this stuff. So much so that I am probably going to take a piano class at school for added sauce. But, I'll say it again I have ideas for my B. and C. options and interests. Something tells me that the other classes should be tech related. It also might help to go on in that direction. I feel it's very important for me to have many things I can do and plug into. Because I know one of my weaknesses is static. Not that fuzzy stuff you get on the boob tube but, being kept to one thing. There are many things I love and want to try and do and experience and being held to one thing and saying that this is mainly what I am is unappealing. I'd much rather have a collection.
I start in about two weeks and then things (sorry if I'm repeating this) are going to branch off. I'll have 3 classes. Plus counseling, which I might add an additional health food class to cuz a lot of my mood is reflected by what I ate... yup. Then! I start driving class. and it will be fall, so that means it will be time for cider mills, fall fests, Halloweekends (hopefully) Calabrese (hopefully) and Epic- Con (HOPEFULLY). And cool things like the mask of the red death, theatre bizzare, and Hallowe' en at greenfield. Hopefully some of you might feel inclined to come with? (that's me asking you) Let me know facebook or text whatevs. I have dates pretty much mapped out already and times.
most random thought for this blog is :I've decided oddly enough that my favorite hang out days are Tuesday Wednesday, and Friday.
This is what happens when I don't have the web for like 3 days!!! Good news is I think that I've caught up with all I've wanted to say!!! Take care and beware!!! <<<<Smh that just happened <B
- Why didn't the butcher do stand up comedy? : He wasn't CLEAVER enough!
- What is a vampire's favorite shape? :Trifangle
- What do you called a werewolf that enjoys gardening? : A hairy Potter
- What do you call fish poop? Bass Turds
^_^ I am glad to officially be on a computer right now. I've down gra- (whisper: I've down graded to my old computer momentarily) Yup dear old Eugrom the name of my first computer is up and running on the internet for the first time in about a year. It's functionality is surprisingly good!
What happened to the bride of Eurom you ask, well she got sick and she's being nursed back to health at the computer clinic. She's getting a nice detox there as well as her shots. So fingers crossed, she shouldn't have any hardships for about a year in the least.
It's interesting how tech is very much like an organism (I almost spelled orgasm... which is what tech helps create ....moving along). More specifically it's more like a pet. You have to make sure that it's up to date on everything, have antibodies, and not feed it too, too much. I'm really developing a love for the stuff. I mean we are living in a digital world and it's only going further. Some of my favorite possessions are my laptops my phone, my mp3 player. I use them everyday and like many, it's insanely awkward to not have theses things. But yeah, my baby will be back to normal soon :D
Nuff' tech talk. My teeth are recovering, My writing frequency has grown, and I'm finding new stuff out about my music stuff everyday. I'm really quite interested in this stuff. So much so that I am probably going to take a piano class at school for added sauce. But, I'll say it again I have ideas for my B. and C. options and interests. Something tells me that the other classes should be tech related. It also might help to go on in that direction. I feel it's very important for me to have many things I can do and plug into. Because I know one of my weaknesses is static. Not that fuzzy stuff you get on the boob tube but, being kept to one thing. There are many things I love and want to try and do and experience and being held to one thing and saying that this is mainly what I am is unappealing. I'd much rather have a collection.
I start in about two weeks and then things (sorry if I'm repeating this) are going to branch off. I'll have 3 classes. Plus counseling, which I might add an additional health food class to cuz a lot of my mood is reflected by what I ate... yup. Then! I start driving class. and it will be fall, so that means it will be time for cider mills, fall fests, Halloweekends (hopefully) Calabrese (hopefully) and Epic- Con (HOPEFULLY). And cool things like the mask of the red death, theatre bizzare, and Hallowe' en at greenfield. Hopefully some of you might feel inclined to come with? (that's me asking you) Let me know facebook or text whatevs. I have dates pretty much mapped out already and times.
most random thought for this blog is :I've decided oddly enough that my favorite hang out days are Tuesday Wednesday, and Friday.
This is what happens when I don't have the web for like 3 days!!! Good news is I think that I've caught up with all I've wanted to say!!! Take care and beware!!! <<<<Smh that just happened <B
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