lessons

Well, I just have to say, that in the few hours that I was out and about walking around that I was in awe...

Today the perfect quasi-autumn day, I was in heaven. Like a very aware meditative state. I usually cannot accomplish such a thing. I can't bring myself to be still too long even working on projects that I really enjoy. well, I started out and what would just be the average walk around the park and come back home... But the park was completely vacant, myself aside and the was a windy, comfortable silence. I sat in what I knew would be my favorite part of the park. It's (what I would call) epicenter. A bench beautifully given the right amount of shade but just the right amount of light on the other side from the morning sun. The leaves were falling around me like leaves. Bliss.

I felt a sense of wholeness welling up, thoughts of past fall happiness, thoughts of the upcoming things to be. Just all of it. I dissected myself and saw my contents. I could feel the kid in me wanting to lead me around by the hand and show me - everything. And let me know that he was as elated as myself. I caved into him wanting to stay for a little bit and we continued. :D

Like the father in me I knew that I must work on my projects today to further my findings and progress. But this high I had was so rare. It was felt in my chest... physically felt.

I decided I wasn't done with my walk, that the bite of that minute stroll was only a sample and I wanted to be on board with a broader venture. So, I walked to my favorite Coffee shop. I walked everywhere today without headphones, something that was very scary for me in the past. But now it makes me feel less tense. A lot of my music transforms me. it feeds into my creative side, but it is not the friendliest. I thought about many things.

I thought about how much I was thinking and why I was. The questions were answered in quick succession. in the past, I did not have very much exposure to... much of anything. It kind of forced me to think and become very aware, of myself and other things. I remember for the most part only ever reading, listening to music, drawing and going out with friends. But it all came full circle. The things that I were doing fueled me into what I was doing, thus when I introduced people to what I had to offer it was organic and very... me. I got to see people that I made deep connections with and my outings with them spawned a lot of ideas too. I hardly ever got to use the internet and or watch television, play games etc. I'm not saying I didn't want to it's just that they were inaccessible. I took in all that I could from what I knew and learned and I didn't worry much about the world outside of me till I had to deal with it.

I often come into contact with articles on how people are now kind of struggling with things because of social media. Everything needs limitation, everyone including myself needs to practice it. But I mused... I basked in my ability to pinpoint things so quickly and I bounced ideas off the conversational Bry inside of me. The part that speaks reason but is a smart ass too- The best of me :D.

But moving along, I can't recall all of the thoughts nor would I want to make this thing even more of a beast than it already is.

At destination my barista looked like Velma from scooby doo. I told her that too, I said I hope that's okay- I smiled. Chai is good. Sparkling blueberry water is also good which I also got... as well as some sunglasses.

AHA!! On the way back I really thought about my impulses being a little haywire lately. Which is odd because I had better self control back in the winter? weird. I bought the chai and the water... fair enough.. but sunglasses? I honestly have 5 pairs now. Smh. On I went recognizing the issue and how to put a halt on it. So Bry, you need to tone that down buddy... set a limit per month, and try to for other habits you want to quit sure have a vice or two whatever. Impulse preorder on an album today the same day it was advertised but his music is like crack to me. so, fix.

Finally, I got my hair chalk -in ruins- most of the chalk is still in whole pieces.. but all of them were out of their proper places and smearing onto one another... I don't care as long as they work mind you but... if they don't oh... I'll be as polite as I can. Misc thought 2. I want to go back to my old roots/ logic. Use it till it's burnt out. Meaning use it till it breaks, sunglasses, jackets, anything. That way when you get the next thing it is brilliant feels awesome and you feel like the dead product gave you all it could.

<B