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Obvious that yesterday wasn't the greatest? Yeah thought so lol.

Well, I opted out last minute of technical communications and signed up for art appreciation. Which seemed good at the time. But when I got there most of the students were people who were taking the class not for their love of art but because they wanted a blow off humanities class. Aye,. I was really hoping to meet some people really into art in the class. In the one class I had I seem to identify most with the oldest lady in the class. Which makes complete sense. I'm not fond of most people my own age, all of them... too loud of a bunch. yo can be fun and stuff without being obnoxious lol,

I'm going to my music programming and sequencing class today. This should go a lot more smoothly because the people in this class should genuinely want to be there. I have some time before class today. So let's see what that leads to yeah? I'm going to apply the idea of starting out working on each project for about half an hour at a time. As I have said I have a very limited energy reserve as well as attention span... combine the two... and you get the opposite of productivity. One of the biggest things that I am trying to accomplish.

What and who I want to be are clearly defined in my head. It's kind of like when you see something in your head.. now comes the task of translating that into reality. I want to be healthy, check... I want to have enough energy... [x] I want to have made sure that I am getting done what I feel I need to [x]. All things aside I cleared my dry erase board and felt justifiably done with my day :). I want to be a fun and friendly person- to do so I must first be at peace with myself, and earlier said energy. For me to be at peace I must be able to balance and get done all that I need to. I have this strict parent figure in my head... it pushes me to live harder and faster.. That's how I initially lost weight. Sadly it not only distorted views but it also gave me a tunnel view. I would like to open my eyesight but I seem to draw into one thing at a time and disregard other aspects. Kind of like the bettering myself... I find it a tad more important than being social for the time being.

I'm going to need a lot of patience with myself in the coming weeks as I am trying to exact what the issue is with my energy levels as they are a key component in everything. ... A zen if you will. There's no way I want to commit to anything too big until I get the handle on myself that I need... Or I will inevitably fall flat on the affair whatever that might be. Know your armor and it's weak spots. I DEFINITELY NEED to be in prime condition within 34 days (October).

yep :) <B