The Original title was going to be called "blacked out" but I wanted to go for something a little less dramatic and worrisome lol.
Sup? I've been losing weight without necessarily trying- don't hate. Like really a pound a day. I'm down to 141. I've been so energy depraved ... I know, I know, am I eating enough? I think so! I've not been doing anything differently than I have since school started... but I have been having a curious regression since then... Of late, I've had many dizzy spells and almost passed out... No Beuneo. I've been eating protein the way the doctor has discussed. All of the doctors that I have encountered this year (mainly dentists) Have told me how healthy I am ( with the exception of some of my teeth. So I don't get it. I should on friday though hopefully. I'll be seeing my doc, bright and early at 8:30 in the morning. Just like I'll be getting a deep tooth cleaning tomorrow at 7: am 0.0. Good thing I already get up at 5:30. Which I'm really guessing if that's a good time for me to wake up ya know. I've been on this sched since may 17th more or less and I'm still tired before the day begins I even go to bed between 10 and 10:30 every night. *shrugs* Perhaps my metabolic rate is out of control who knows? Except I do notice a slight change of pace when sugar gets added to the mix... I doubt it's the bi-polar. I've had that pretty well handled.
I Killed facebook. I needed to. It wasn;t really my thing anyways. It, is a waste of time really. I gave the new account a good trial and error of 9 months though. (golf clap). This isn't bad, it doesn't (necessarily) mean I'm receding into myself again. It just shows that I am aware of my limits. So then there is the answer of why it's gone. Well what spawned it was this article I read about there being a challenge to go without it for 99 days just to see what you get done- how life has been etc. The thought was highly enticing. Along with the fact that this was introduced to me through an article saying that some people respond negatively to face book and might want to turn it off. Well, 99 days is pretty much the end of the year. So maybe I'll be back on depending. I never really liked the concept of having "friends" on facebook that I didn't talk to. Just a collection pretty much. i didn't much care to know about everything everyone was doing- it takes away from catching up. Back before this whole thing people lived their lives out and when they saw the other people again- they had stuff to talk about. I'd like very much for myself to plunge into a real life social pit. Buttt.. trying to do it on my own terms at first. And hopefully the next friends I make will be cool enough to not only be like hey, what are you doing? But to also send me a text as opposed to people who only facebook message. So annoying. It also made me fret to see all of things others were doing... things my friends would do and not give me the time of day for... ugh.
This whole ordeal was kind of like junk food... Like when you don't buy it because you know deep down that if you buy it... you'll eat it... I binged on the attention I was getting for a good while until the well ran dry. That's when I kept fishing and there was nothing left to catch.
I feel that this chapter I'm choosing to live can be a more fulfilling and happier life. In my own world with my nose in my business and everyone elses in theirs. I feel like it will open my head a bit and make me focus on me. I feel that due to my over access to things nowadays that I have lost somethings about myself that I really enjoyed and would like back. I'll take what I need from the rest of the world, but i refuse to let it make me. i'll keep my twitter for my news, keep my pinterest for inspiration.
This time around though, I'm not alone though. Not like prior times. I know I have someone that loves me and cares. And when I think about where, I'd be and who I'd be without him it is scary. I'd like a crew of Halloween loving punkster friends. I would LOVE that. But it's not in the cards for the time being. I know that I'm not alone though.
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